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Call of Duty: MLG Warfare
Call of Duty: MLG Warfare or Call of Duty: Critically Average Super-Hyped Cliched Overused Warfare (COD: CASHCOW) as in the development stage, is the eighteenth installment of the Call of Duty and it's the last one to be made before they decide to stay milking out Destiny 3: Electric Boogaloo. It's set to release on November 9, 2020 for Playbox420 U and PC. The game itself is still the same shit with little additions and improvements and more underage kids screaming and yelling racial slurs during online play. DLC will be priced at $69.420 every time and they will give out free expired doritos and mountain dew. Gameplay The game is pretty much the same as the previous Call of Duty titles with different guns and some addtion like JETPACKS!!! LAZZORSSS!!!! AAANND.... Bows, Swords and Batons for some reason. And of course, Quickscoping were refined in this game so 12-years old that want to join FaZe clan can practice some more and FaZe clan itself will get eternal boner for that. The only thing that is new the ability to smoke marijuana and consume Doritos and Mountain Dew in-game. For the first time in the series players can smoke different strains of marijuana to enhance there abilities in the game. As well as eating different flavor of Doritos and Mountain Dews. Marijuana enhance the abilities to shoot more accurate while Doritos Enhance your durability and Mountain Dew augments your Speed and Vitality when moving fast. OOOHH Now in here the player can ride Titan mechs from Titanfall too! With permision from EA after Vince Zampella was out of Video Game Industries of course. Ride Titan and Yell like faggots that is every mecha anime protagonists. Story The story is set in year 1337 AC/DC during the second world war III, a conflict between Freedom Loving Obamanite Republican Federation of 'Murica and her allies vs the evil CommieNazis Empire of German-Russian Soviet Reich Republic Union (and also ISIS for some reason). The Protagonist, Master Sergeant Major of Sergeant Important Jackson "Jack" Riley or Sgt. Riley for short is the US Marine that participate in the war from Operation: Your Mom which he quickscope over 500 CommieNazis soldier with his 80mm Sniper Rifle 360 style, to Battle of Mosberkowlin when he plant the American Flag on the top of Kremlinstag building and followed by sick dubstep music and endless stream of Mountain Dew and Doritos party. Much story elements such as unnessecary controversial event, useless flashback mission, ho-that-awesome-holyshit moment and any other cliche still present on this. But it's also includes some other element that never been in other Call of Duty before; Implication of Homosexual Relationship between Sgt. Riley and Major Lieutenatn and blatant body-whoring fanservices by female characters. Also blatant violence and massacres toward the cattle animals like cows and sheeps also present here. Missions Act 1 *Training: Death of Modern Warfare *Operation: Your Mom *Relatiation *We are the Black Ops *Revelation *Warzone *The Fog of War Act 2 *Game of Quickscopes *Redstorm *Advanced Warfare *Operation: Titanfall *In Decay *Steel Goliaths Act 3 *The World at War *Paradox *Creed of Assassin *Blaze it, Faggot! *Fall of Nation Characters Team Good Guy Task Force 69 Good guy! Kick ass, chew bubblegums and wreck the shit out the bad guys and none of them died! Yay Main Characters' immunity! *'Master Sergeant Major of Sergeant Important Jackson "Jack" Riley' - Protagonist of the series. He's the most skillful US Marine ever lived. he can even dual wield RPG-7 to destroy a tank. Wearing Fedoras, Sunglasses and smoke weed everytime he goes. He's rumored to have big dick too. *'Major Lieutenant '- Your Mentor in the military and he's the one who gives you endless wave of command during the battle. He has mustache, smokes cigar and have cool british accent. Not really rip-off of Captain John Price. *'Private Noob '- The skrub on the team. He yells all the time whenever he gets trouble and is a pain in the ass for the players. *'Michiko Himura '- Only girl in the team. Unlike other, she's rendered as an Anime Characters, having cat ears and tails and act like typical harsh but cute-tsundere girl. She's so badass while using firearms though. Has secret crush on Sergeant Riley. *'Nerdy Nerd '- A Tech nerd. skilled in hacking even the most difficult security system. wearing Guy Fawkes mask and fap to ponies while hacking. US Army (FUCK YEAHHH!!!!) The most heroic Army in the world and fights for democracy. everything else is evil! AMERICA FUCK YEAHHH *cue the bald eagle soars* *'General Major of Very Important Person '- Commander of the US Army and Team Good Guy Task Force 69. He likes to molest female soldiers when he bored and having laid afterwards. Known for his legendary quickscoping skill using Minigun during Fifth Vietnam War. *'Mission Control Claire '- A Mission control that informs the protagonist the battlefield situation. She have very lewd voice that sometimes Sgt. Riley had to masturbate when she talks. Main molesting target by General major Otaku Resistance Otaku Resistance. based in Japan. fights for the better Anime World from oppresive baka CommieNazis who hates anime! >3< *'Otaguy' - An Obese Japanese otaku person who wield Machine Guns. A total nerd and pervert. Like to shove his crotch on girl's ass. *'General Oppai '- Red-Haired anime girls with large tits. She's the pilot of of a Mecha called Titan. *'Lieutenant Kawaii '- A Loli with dog ears and act cute. That's all. If you don't know what Loli is: It's basically a 8-13 years old girl. *'Dante '- Character from Devil May Cry series. He's a badass weilding guns and big-ass sword to kill demons and CommieNazis soldiers. Russian Rebel Badass Russian Red Rebel Army that fight against the Fascist/Traitors of the Motherland that is CommieNazis Empire. *'Viktor Reznov '- SURPRISE! HE'S STILL ALIVE MOTHERFUCKERS! JOKES ON YOU BLACK OPS FANS! Sincerly, Treyarch. Seriously, Viktor Reznov is still alive and now lead the rebellion against the CommieNazis Empire. *'Kamarov '- Viktor Reznov's Right hand after Dmitri Petrenko killed by the CommieNazi sniper. He likes doritos. *'Nikolai '- Helicopter pilot for the Rebel. He didn't like to be treated like Flying Taxi Drivers although he's basically that for the entire campaign. ISIS Evul Muslim Empire of Middle East. Labels Doritos, Mountain Dew, and Marijuana as Haram. Must Remove their bigotry and install the Democracy! *'Al-Baghdadi '- Nothing to do with a real person. Leader of ISIS and have dozen of wives and wealth while he commands millions of uneducated, goat-fucking soldiers. He will be killed by the Protagonist by shoving Tactical kebab up his ugly ass. LITERALLY! Imperial CommieNazis Army *'Emperor President Fuhrer Vladolf Ivanovich Putler' - Main Antagonist on the game and Supreme Commander of the Imperial CommieNazis Army. SPOILER ALERT: He will be hanged in front of the public after the war and his bodies become target practice for young 360 Quickscopers. He didn't resembles Hitler and Putin we swear! *'General Obergruppenfuhrer Heinrich Makarov '- The bastard who start the war between Murica and CommieNazis empire. He's also the greatest Marijuana dealer on the planet. He will be killed brutally by the Protagonist with Stabbing in the stomach, Smack his skull to a hard concrete and throw him to the grinder because he's an asshole during the campaign. *'Doctor Richtofen '- Yes The Guy from CoD Zombies is actually helping the CommieNazis empire to build a Zombie Soldier and conquer the world. Multiplayer Multiplayer is still the same shit using the same Peer 2 Peer connection and with no Dedicated Servers for PC version because the company is an money hungry asshole and didn't care for PC players. And also... SBMM IS BACK BITCHES! That's Right SBMM is here to make the game seems fair! Meet some assholes and 12 year olds from Guatemalala or Phililppines and keep complaining how shit SBMM is! Everyone is happy and Activision and EA bathing in money despite the backlashes! The Gameplay? Stil the same shit but the different thing is that we combine everything from CoD Ghost , Black Ops 3 , Infinite Warfare and Advanced Warfare into one! Cool Right?! Yeah right.. Maps Since the dev is out of ideas, the decided to put all the map from previous CoD as well as map from other games/media because they hungry for the money but not creativity. *Nuketown (From Black Ops 1. Everyone's second favorite) **Kushtown (Dank version of Nuketown, only available for Marijuana Season Pass holder) *Rust (Frome MW2. Quickscoper's Utiopia, basically) *Shrek's Swamp (The name says it all. Warning sp00ki shrek killstreak) *Da Club (From Club Penguin. Set in a hotel near a shore on Antarctica. Too Much Pinguins) *Green Hill Zone (From Sonic. I don't know why they put this in game. I think SEGA pretty much alright with this) *Hijacked (From Black Ops 2. Nothing Changed really) *Minekush (Mincreaft-themed map set in a Marijuana Farm) *Darude Sandstorm (Set in map that its layout is similar to De_Dust_2 from Counter Strike) *Macca's Playground (The Map that set in Macca's Playground. That's pretty much about it) *Underwater (From Ghost. Filled with Fish AI) *Shipments - Meme Edition (Shipment from CoD 4. Now filled with memes!) *Riot (From Advanced Warfare. Nothing Changed Really) *Stonehaven 2.0 (Frome Ghosts, but 100000000000000000000000 times larger, only available with Cocaine DLC pack) *Dark (A very dark map that u can't even see anything, only available in Cocaine DLC pack) *Shadow Moses (From MGS 1, why? For da money!!! The developers literally stole the area from Konami, the fags of gaming, only available in Cocaine DLC pack) Killstreak MLG Warfare came with brand new dank killstreaks which can be obtained when killing some skrubs during the match. here's the list: *UAV Recon - 3 Kills (Lame killstreak that reveals enemy on the map for 30 seconds) *Counter UAV - 4 Kills (Another Lame killstrike like above but it disable enemy map instead) *Weed Package - 4 Kills (Delivers a free weed to smoke to increase your aiming) *Airstrike - 5 Kills (Delivering Gazillion Tons of High Explosive Freedom) *Sentry Dank Gun - 5 Kills (Deploy Heavy Machine Gun turret that fires Dorito Chips) *Doge - 7 Kills (Wow. Such Killstreak. Much Attack Doge. Very OP.) *Helicopter Support - 7 Kills (Call a Fucking Choppaahh!) *Titan - 10 Kills (Drop the Rideable Titan from Titanfall ) *Illuminati Eyes - 18 Kills (Calls All-Seeing Eye and reveal every players on map) *Kyojin - 20 Kills (Transform into a Titan from Attack on Titan) *AC-420 - 42 Kills (Call an gunship that fires 20mm Kush-injected cannon and Doritos Machine Cannon) *Loadsamoney - 69 Kills (Rain dat kush kush) *Kush Delivery - 420 Kills (Deliverse 4 Weed Packages) *Ultimate Kush Nuke MOAB - 1337 Kills (Secret 1337. Must not dying in order to get this) Weapons and Equipments As any other call of duty, every gun here is different from one installment to another. Or there are some that same but with different look and stats. Here's some list of the gun: Assault Rifles *M8KA4 (Basically M4A1 futurized) *BAL-27 (Guns that everyone love and use in AW) *AUG *AK-12 (We still use AK-12 in the future folks!) *Type-27 Kawaii (Basically futurized FN-FAL with Anime Character camo, fully customized and more camo options in form of DLCs!) *MA200 (Bullpup Assault Rifle that looks like the one from Halo) *Dank Rifle (Guns that fires liquid marijuana, very dank weapon) *SWAT-5569 (The most useless assault rifle evar, but made even worse, only available in Cocaine DLC pack) *KBAR-32 (The new OP gun from IW) Sub-Machine Guns *Bizon *SAC-3 *Fluttershy Dash (SAC-3 with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash as default Camo) *ASM1 Speakeasy (That Gun from AW that looks like M1927 Thompson) *MP40A3 (MP40 with Modern features) *M3 Dorito (Guns that fires deadly extra-sharped expired dorito chip) *PPSH-41 (The most OP SMG/LMG in WaW, only available in Cocaine DLC pack) Shotguns *SPAS-69 *AA-12 *Saiga *Gatling Shotgun *.205 Brecci (from Black Ops 3, added via Supply Drop update cuz why not xDDDDD) Light Machine Guns *LSAT *MG420 *M60E5 (It fires lazer now) *M1337 HMG (Futurized M1919 from World at War) *Titan LMG (Frome IW) Directed-Energy Weapons *EM-1 *DEWritos Cannon (Gun that fueled by Liquidifed Doritos and Mountain Dews) Sniper Rifles *Mk.14 EBR (It's sniper rifle nao. but shitty one) *Intervetion (Everyone's favorite quickscoping gun) *MSR *Ballista *PSG-1 *Lynx *MORS *NA-45 (The most useless sniper ever) *Atlas 80mm *Locus *Barrett 50.cal (Da best sniper in CoD 4, only available in Cocaine DLC pack) Pistol *M1911 Futurized *M9A1 *Atlas 45 *DEagle *69 Revolver *DEW Pistol Launcher *RPG-69 *Javelin *Stinger *DEW Rocket (shoots explosive mountain dews) Specials *Crossbow *Hunting Bow *Holy Aryan Sword *Holy Viking Axe *Purple Dildo Baton Reception Tesco payed one of the most respected videogame reviewers IGN, an undisclosed amount of $420.420 to give the game a good review. IGN rated it 9/11 claiming "it's Okay', they claimed that there was too much water in the bong. In other Hand, Gamespot rate it 7/10 because "They didn't pay use enough". Geoff Keighly, as dorito pope praise this game much because of it's inclusion of the Doritos and Mountain Dew and their portrayal in a light and positive way. Meanwhile Redditors praise this game and say "The Greatest Call of Duty 2 DLC since World at War". Hideo Kojima's attitude toward the game's success were mixed while saying "I thought my game was bad and illogical enough." he praised about the inclusion of Japanese anime girls and Dante and recommend it to any otaku who like boobs and cute girls. CEO of DICE, the creators of Battlefield, who stopped the series after their last game, Battlefield: Lag Galore, praised the game for doritos and dew, but they still hated Activision, saying that it is the trashbag of the video game industry, even doe there r no bugs and hitmarkers r Evurywhere. Many reviwers called it Game of the Year, mainly because Axtivision paid 10 trillion dollars for them to give some awards, and it became the best selling game of 2021, selling over 3 billion copies, just like the other boring CoD titles every year. Trivia *This is the last Call of Duty ever made and it's the most epic in the history of both Call of Duty and Gaming Industries. *Activision and EA pay us so much money that we made this page while on acid. Category:Parody Category:Call of Duty: MLG Warfare